oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
