True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
