she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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