The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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