Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
