I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
