I will die if light touches me.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
