He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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