I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
