How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
