apparently the secret to your success is patron
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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