so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize