If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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