Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize