You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
