Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
