in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
