yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize