This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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