so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just want to make out with him forever
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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