Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
