You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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