i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
