is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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