Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
