I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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