Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
and you said cock pushups were impossible
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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