OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
