Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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