I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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