Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
