4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
