WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
