is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
