Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
