and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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