If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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