people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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