i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
