In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
