There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize