I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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