He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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