then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
