Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
