Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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