you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
