So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize