I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
