someone owes me an orgasm
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
