they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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