So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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