The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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