It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
