He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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