I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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