the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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