i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
