I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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