So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
